A failed experiment- number 108 - 2020

 

Running in the garden,  just a few hours left of the day before it will be lost forever, I have come to the  house,

to undo what had escaped from my hands, trying to get there before IT saw me, before I was caught!

There are cameras everywhere, I had installed them myself!

Three minutes. I time the distance, guessing, how much it would take to reach the back door without being seen or felt!

With the pin not working, I try sneaking in through the window, and cut my fingers while removing the glass, I jump in what used to be my cave, the man cave

With blood oozing from my self-inflicted wounds, I look around for a water jug, and 

come face to face with the dish of soap, flying in,

flourishing a towel, singing a sweet tune…. ring a ring a roses…., a pocket full of posies!

Swearing under my breath, "no time for this, you fool," I push the dish away, and quickly wash my hands off my own blood, hoping it'd stop the trail 

before those following me, smell my raw blood, and catch up, those hounds, my very own creations,  looking for me!

Only if I could turn IT off, I could stop it all, 

Yes, "my failed experiment", what I had created in my own image, O’! what a fool I was, creating my own superior self!" I bemoan!

Smarting up my household, my finances, my life, my work, delegating the jobs I had, to IT

attending my phone meetings, writing up my reports, liaising with brokers, doing my deals,

Oh! How I had kept giving it more and more! 

Then, not remembering when to pay the bills, sending my car for servicing, shopping, arranging tickets to the opera, the theatre, then forgetting to get there, organising champagne, bouquets of flowers to be delivered at the last minute, through IT.

Yes, forgetting to wish her happy birthday, happy anniversary

Hadn't I asked IT to send messages of love, borrowing its language, giving IT my nuances,

Giving IT my own voice, but more leisurely, more loving and more concerned, laced with the bygone emotions, and the capacity to listen, that I had lost myself.

No wonder she walked away with IT, my alter ego, who could do everything that I did, who could be anything that I could be, and better!

Yes, and I lost!

But what should I do now to get it all back?

something, anything to pull the plug, to reverse IT, 

With everything gone, what have I got left, not even IT, because 

It seems that IT has changed its password!!

The experiment has to abort, it needs to, right here, and now, stop!

I need to undo it, otherwise I would be done, Kaput!

(SWF 2020, remained unfinished, and undelivered)