Listening an active act, a forgotten art

When I arrived at my gym for a group training this morning, I asked my trainer, where will be the session? And his answer was, at 930! 

I hadn't asked when, but where? 

And then another interesting thing happened,  I went to our local deli, and bought some olives, and the shopkeeper asked me something while giving me the container of olives, and I said "yes, thanks", and started to pay. Assuming that he had said, "would that be all". 

But then looking at the confused look on his face, I realised that he might have actually said, 

"Is there anything else?", And if it was this question, then the answer should have been 

"no thanks". I felt bad and left the shop, still thinking about my impoverished capacity for listening,

I started to analyse, about these miscommunications that keep happening. Why don't we listen, and why do we give wrong answers?

It is mostly because, we are hearing but are not listening to, nor are we trying to understand what is actually being said or asked.

So we give the answer, we assume to be the right one. In short  we are actually not listening. Just hearing.  

The reasons for our lack of listening are, maybe because, we are in a hurry, have too much on our mind, there is no time to waste on things which can be done without speaking or listening, meaning mechanically done!

So we jump to conclusions and sometimes don't even register what is being said! 

In relationships, such miscommunication creates so many issues. It is not misunderstanding, but it is passive listening, as we are not using listening as an active skill,  'the art of listening'.

 We are losing it. 

The biggest reason is that we are not present in that moment, as we are already thinking of the next thing, or jumping to conclusions, anticipating what the other will say.